his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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