Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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