I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
