If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
