if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
