Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
