we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
