If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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