Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
