Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
