It's like God shit irony all over that family
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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