OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize