I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
