ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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