and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
