My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
