Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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