Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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