Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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