I wish I could teleport
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
