Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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