Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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