This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
