Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
