Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and she was petting her beer can
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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