Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
