you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
