he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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