Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
