i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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