pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
