He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
