I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize