I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
