Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I stole a fireplace last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize