You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
