That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
