I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
