i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
