Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
