and you said cock pushups were impossible
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
