im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm passing your future prison.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
