we made out on top of his cat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
