we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You are a genius and a whore.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
