You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
