You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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