I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
