I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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