in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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