I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
