They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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