Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
