why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
