So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
