he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
