Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
