She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
