We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
