omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We smell like vodka and hangover
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