O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
